A Girlfriend's Guide to Choosing An Agency

Needless to say, choosing an adoption agency is one of the biggest decisions you face, because you need to go where your child will be. My advice is to follow both your head and your heart. How?

First, your head. Research the agency by interviewing its counselors and asking to speak with both adoptive parents and firstparents they have served. Things to ask (click on a title to read the questions):

Ask the Agency (questions 1-10)

Ask Adoptive Parents (questions 11-15)

Ask First Parents (questions 16-20)

Look for healthy situations where both parties feel well-served and well-represented by an agency. A good agency will make the adoption process collaborative (with the child as the focus), rather than adversarial (where one side's loss is the other's gain).

After you gather the facts, let your heart weigh in on the decision. Sit quietly and find out what your intuition tells you. If you have a "feeling" about an agency, go with that feeling. Adoption -- like parenting -- is a very intuitive process. Adopting with your head and heart will prepare you to parent with your head and heart.

Copyright 2006 by Lori Dowd, MA.

click HERE to open the printable '20 Questions' article